it’s a joke that i literally chuckle at, at this point.
it’s so far beyond the first time that it couldn’t be anything BUT a joke.
i thought, maybe if i had rules and regulations and extra padding
the punches would at least allow me to keep my breath.
allow me to shake it off like a grueling chore that just must be done.
that just must be.
but for the umpteenth time here i sit.
on this old blue-green couch
fingers quivery, skin alive with electricity
trying to maintain the clutch on a steady flow of breathing.
yet my face has been plastered with a smirk since the first line read.
a million questions that will never be answered
and will eventually fade away into Time and worn out cares….
this knowledge is at least a comfort. perhaps even the cause of the smirk.
what a fool he is. i am. we are.
it’s funny right? security… it’s a joke… right?
The Lower McCloud River
Late Spring; 2014
Adri on the River in Late Spring
n o w.
i don’t think i was raised for this world.
and at the speed things are going, who possibly could be.
issues at a time are gone almost at that same time.
preparing for anything has never made sense to me fully anyway though.
we could blame technology but i don’t like the word b l a m e.
never have, really.
less of an excuse and more of an explaniation. fine lines there.
but this new culture of r e l a t i o n s h i p s
how strange. how unnatural? supernatural??
how human. but not always humane.
some people come into your life and become SO significant
to who you will a l w a y s be.
but they’re not supposed to stay.
they’re supposed to disappear and remain gone,
but for the changes in you they made while present.
and other people vaguely come into your life and remain insignificant.
background noises and fixtures of the setting.
dismissed subconsciously in the next scenes and chapters.
some of them just made appearances in your life too soon, or too late.
some for truly no reason at all.
but the ones too soon,
some of them are worth getting the timing right a second time.
so whatever is going on,
THANKS to technology, the ones that should be gone are still around
and the ones who were early could now or later, be on time.
strange, strange existence i’ve turned out to have so far.
Dolores Park, San Francisco
oh, how i’ve missed my beautiful soul sister
cotton candy with a hint of moon
C H E M T R A I L S
daily atmospheric invasion
When you surround yourself with genuine people, it’s easier to be genuinely you.
Ben & Abe; 2014
First Upper Sac Day of 2014